Day 6: Snafu

Well, I jinxed it! Yesterday, I was telling my friend Jack about a few more various discomforts this diet can bring, but I hadn't had them yet (too soon). One of them is this bizarre freezing thing at night, where you shake and shiver and can't get warm and wish for death.

It took me half an hour last night to figure out I was having that again. It's so weird as the other times, it was way into it. The doctor said it's caused by reaching a certain amount of weight loss fast. But, I've only lost 6# So go figure.

This made for a horrible night's sleep. It took me until 1:00ish to stop shaking and start sleeping. Then I woke at 5. So the day didn't start that well. Then it got worse.

The only good part of the shivers in the past was it usually showed a big weight loss in the morning. Today? Nada. Not an ounce. Big bummer. I'm calling upon all of my powers to not freak out. Tomorrow could be a very good day on the scale. And it doesn't mean this will go like the last cycle (a complete disaster). Breathe and hope.

Last night's crappiness was a continuation from the late afternoon's crapiness. Those of you who know me know I've suffered with weird and awful health issues for over 20 years. The back stuff alone, I mean dude-have mercy! But there's been tons of other stuff, including metabolic/hormonal which the doctors are trying to pursue and restrain, with limited success (e.g. the cortisol disorder that could explain the huge weight gains in record setting time). But, in short, it's been hard. And long. And did I say hard?

So, anyway, this woman walks up to me at dance. Our daughters are both in the class. And she asks me for a phone number of somebody who took a job over for me a few months ago. Apparently, she'd left a message and Dance Mom's machine chopped the number off.

I said I thought I had it, but would look at home. And Dance Mom said she wanted to call back the person ASAP as she didn't want to cause her stress as she has health issues. I snorted and said (laughingly) nobody was concerned about causing me stress when I did that job. And Dance Mom's reply? She said that this other person has health problems and she (DM) doesn't want to cause her stress as it's not good for her.

Really, what can one think but WTF? Part of me wanted to rip her a new one, lecture her 'til her ears bled and defend the honor of my busted body. But to what end? The fact is, most people don't get it. It's not called "invisible illness" for nothing. And damn, just because I don't have a label (besides Freak) doesn't mean I don't have a health problem. But even so, the back pain alone....

Suffice to say it was hurtful and disappointing. I didn't say anything. What was there to say? It just illustrates vividly and painfully why I don't choose to have many friends (lots of friendly acquaintances, sure). Most don't understand, and don't try to. Just because I show up and work myself hard (every single day is a pain sucking marathon) doesn't mean it's not excruciatingly hard and it sure as heck doesn't mean I couldn't use a little tlc and consideration myself.