Lame

Tried scarb for the first time.  Weight: up.  And I didn't have much, either!  Just one small piece of lovely whole grain bread, a smattering of potatoes, and a few squares of homemade granola bar (My friend on Olympus made them--wow--so delicious.  Ambrosia, indeed.).  And that was over a whole day, along with lots of non-scarb, balanced, healthy things! 

It went down a little the day after, but still not all the way down.  Perhaps tomorrow.  But still, Come on, body!  Will you WORK with me?  Please?

Grrr

Weight up a little bit this morning, which annoys me greatly because I didn't eat anything with simple carb in it (yet).  Still well within the zone, but still.  With my sordid history of ridiculous weight gain, I get edgy.

Pretty cool...for the moment

Still cozy at 3# below the LIW.  Sadly, this is unlikely to be the case upon returning from The Gulf Coast in a couple of weeks.

Woot

Weight down some more.  I'll take it.

Learning

Weight still stable.  I'm well into the sixth week of stabilization and it's...stable!  A new experience for me.  Right now I'm trying to not over-react.  I've been in the mindset so long of cramming for finals.  If I was thirsty overnight, I'd not drink any water 'cause I was terrified of the scale going up.

Now, I'm working on the long view.  Drinking water is good!  Panic is not.

I am still a bit panicky about my poor Maggie and her back.  There is a week until departure, though.  Odds are in our favor she'll be ok.  There are definite signs of improvement; she's eating more, once she gets up, she can walk straight.  I'm sure it'll be ok.  But with my health issues, travel sends me into a blind panic anyway.  Add to that my beloved friend and canine being in peril...forget about it.

I'd like to self medicate with either some ice cream or a Mike's Hard Limeade, but I'm not gonna do that anymore.  It doesn't help.  Throwing a problem on top of a problem is a lot like throwing accelerant onto a fire: generally, a bad idea.

Weight down below the LIW zone, 3# below my LIW, actually.  I'm both pleased and surprised, given how life has turned me into a cortisol geyser lately.

My dog, Maggie, has hurt her back.  She's not rallying yet (it happened yesterday), but being 14, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Not only am I worried about losing her, I'm worried 'cause we're supposed to be gone for 10 days, starting in a week.  We were unable to find a caring home where she could be coddled and sleep on her bed for her usual 20 hours per day! So we had resigned ourselves to her bunking in my dad's pasture and being fed by his neighbor.

Obviously, that won't work now.  So I was up about 3 hours worrying about it last night.  I have renewed my search for a house-sitter to stay here and care for our dear animals.  But if Maggie's not even up to that, I just don't know what will happen.  :(  I almost dived into a bag of Pirate's Booty to drown my sorrows, but I know that won't help: the cup I seek to fill has no bottom.

Locked in (for the moment)

My weight's been exactly the same for days now, even with me adding various cured meats.  Like!

It's unusual

...that I weigh the same every day now. I don't think I've experienced it before. It's pretty nice, actually! The only fly in the ointment is I'm doing it by having absolutely zero simple carbs: no bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, sugar, etc.

I'm a little concerned that's what's required. Hey, I'll do it (except on vacation; string me up if you will). But I hope I don't have to forever.

If I were anything resembling "normal," I'd be losing weight fast eating how I do. But I guess "normal" waved bye-bye to be at birth if not before.

Nice!

Being so brazen as to add carrots to my salad has not caused any ill effects. Still hanging comfortably in the zone.

I'm happy because it's been a particularly stressful week. I've been having some of the other cortisol symptoms that come with stress for me, but not the weight gain.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

So far, so good

Yesterday, my first day of (on paper) "freedom" I had a little bit of ketchup and mayo (both have a little sugar). Today, my weight was down again. Oh-kay. I can go with that.

I guess as long as I'm in the approved range (2# plus or minus the LIW), we're good.

Too good to be true

The amazing weight loss is gone now. And I did nothing to provoke a gain. Well, I'm still in the zone. I know they say the stabilization time tends to go up and down. And heck, I always tend to just go UP.

But worrying about it won't help. It's likely just water weight. I'm not pushing the panic button just yet.

Today is graduation day. I'm officially off stabilization. But it's not like a school graduation, where you get a certificate and no matter what you do, you're still a graduate. So, I'm not that excited about it.

For now, I'm still eating as I have been: monastically. Soon I'll try a sweeter fruit and/or some cured meat. The key word here is tiptoe. I'll eat strictly this way 'til our trip. Then I'll do the best I can. I find traveling on a diet is both hard and extremely sucky. So I pretty much don't do it. :) I don't travel much anyway, so there you are.

I'm now going to move my tassel to the other side, and start my school day.

What the deuce?

Ok, so I'm now 3 pounds below my Last Injection Weight. Theoretically, I'm supposed to gain some back--on purpose--to get within two pounds of the LIW. Sorry, not likely! I can't understand this bizarre phenomenon. It's a dream come true for me--eat healthy, but be able to eat--and still lose weight! It's like I'm normal for a minute or two.

So I tried on last summer's clothes. I'm heavier than I was last summer, but thankfully, nearly everything still fits (phew!). There were a couple of items I put in the back of the closet "for next summer" (I'm feeling optimistic at the moment.).

Our trip to the beautiful Gulf Coast is in a few weeks. I'm scared of gaining back. Last year, we were gone for six days and I gained, wait for it...12 pounds. That doesn't even seem possible! But hey, that's me and my body. So, that is part of the reason I'm not going to start mainlining Greek yogurt in an attempt to gain back that pound.

I "graduate" from the initial three week stabilization on Monday. I'm scared of food, so I'm not going to indulge in pizza or anything like that. I'm going to try something with a modicum of sugar--cured meats.

Oh bacon, I've missed you so....

Really?

Another pound gone. How? Why? Under normal circumstances, I'd be elated. But this is a pickle I've not come up against before (Ok, that's an odd descriptor.). If I get more than two pounds below the LIW, I'm supposed to...not. Yeah, how likely is it I'll be able to stop myself from losing weight by trying not to. Come on! I'm hardly underweight. It just feels wrong in every way.

I'm now 2 pounds, 2 ounces below. It will likely correct itself as I start increasing my carb load (gingerly) in a few days. But even so....?

Dude!!!!!

So my weight is now LOWER than my LIW (last injection weight). SWEET! Can't imagine why, but I'm doing a happy dance for sure.

Sadly, I'm sure that is likely to change when I'm off the Stabilization restrictions. But I'm going to go oh-so-carefully....

Phew!

Weight back down. No explanation as to why it'd go up 1.5, hover for two days, the retreat.

But I can live with it.

Grrrrr

Evidently I gained a pound and a half overnight by NOT having any Easter candy or cake.

Lame.

Today

Stabilization still stable!

Sweet!

Lost another .2. Still in The Zone (two on either side of the Last Injection Weight). Some kind of miracle for me to be below the LIW.

I can live with it.

Stabilization: One Week Gone

It's going well, weight wise. Best ever.

The only downer is I've been having some of the "cortisol" type symptoms (odd hormonal behavior which is not pleasant). I'm trying not to worry, which only makes it worse. Just because I'm having a few odd symptoms, doesn't mean I'm going to start spouting fat like a geyser.

Stabilization: Day 7

Back up to the LIW (I knew yesterday's half a pound drop was too good to be true!). I'm happy with that, though. It can spend the next year ('til I can do the hcg again) settled there. I'd be elated. The last couple of years have been wickedly hard on my body with the massive losses and gains.

So my goal and efforts are to keeping it stationary, eating healthfully, and exercising to the best my busted-arse body will allow.

True, it seems I have little control over what my body does (Yesterday my face turned burgundy and my hands were shaking--that was fun and not at all alarming), but I can try. That's it. I can try. Regardless of what my body does, I like being able to be proud of myself.