A Bad Turn

Got on the scale. Up 5 pounds from (less than) a week ago. Should have known my metaolism wasn't "normal." Why can't I be normal?

Better weigh

I feel like I'm getting fatter. Maybe it has something to do with that Cadbury bar I ate.

I've Got a Plan!

Ok, I studied the calendar and put my thinking cap on. I think this will work! Three shortish sessions: late autumn, early winter, and spring. Then I think that ought to be it, Lord willin' and the scale don't rise!

The beauty part is I can back date my injections and go on Stabilization on Thanksgiving Day. Then I'll be all clear for some special Christmas meals. Then in the dead of winter, I can do it again, then be done for March Mayhem. Then after that, do another one at my leisure in the spring, around the proposed travel schedule (come on, back--you can do it!). That'd maybe be another 60. Hard to say. I can't picture what that amount of weight gone would look or feel like. I'd like to find out!

I'm hoping to maintain, though I've not been as strict as I'd like. But heck, it's not easy recovering from surgery #607. I'm not losing my mind, though. At least I don't think I am. But how would I know if I were? :)

I do think there's a lot of merit to this going slowly. Even though it's not really slow if you just take it in months. Six months ago I weighed nearly 70# more than now. Long periods of losing nothing with short periods of accelerated weight loss. Maintanance is the key for me now. Think long term. Long term. Long. Term.

A pickle

So here's the scoop. I had planned on doing another hcg round in early October. Then today I did the math, and with my cycles, were I to do an October one, it looks like I'd not get started until the end of Oct. Rats! Then I'd not be able to do a full long cycle, if I wanted to enjoy Christmas food at all. I had grudgingly reconciled myself to still being on the shots/diet during Thanksgiving, but Christmas, too? Come on! So if I do October, it'd probably be a four week cycle of shots (and approx. a 20# loss--if I'm lucky). Then not again until Jan. or Feb. So...not as good.

Then I got this great idea, Hey, I could do it in September! Then I'd be on stabilization for Thanksgiving (a huge pile of turkey and salad, at least) and done well before Christmas!

Then later, it hit me. I'd have to start only four weeks after my surgery. The diet/shot regimen is very hard on my body. I don't want to do ANYTHING to compromise my healing.

So I don't know what to do. I remind myself, "Long term!" But I'm really at a loss of what to do. I suppose I should wait a few more weeks, then ascertain how I'm doing. But, I like a good plan to work with.

Thoughts (on email, please)?

Entrapment!

Well, I've been doing pretty well with food. Then today, I was gifted with both lemon bars *and* oatmeal raisin cookies!

Officer, I was framed. Ah, well, if one can't have a dessert (or two) when one has one's spine carved on, when can one? It's not like I have surgery every day. Well, ok, feels like it sometimes.

Yay!

Finally manned up and got on the scale. I'm in the zone! .2 below my LIW, even. :) Sweet! Definitely feeling an upswing in optimism. :) I'm not going to push my luck, diet wise. But I'm lovin' the HCG diet; it really does seem to reset the metabolism!

Mark and I have settled down eating wise, for the most part. We're not requesting when people bring meals that it be uber low carb, 'cause a little dessert is tasty. But we're not buying any on our own and our between meal snacks are healthy.

Headed out to my first physical therapy appt. Feeling happy!

Lost My Way

Been eating like a longshoreman for a few days. Prayers please for regained footing!

So Much for the Diet

It's been utterly abandoned this week. Ugh. I'm still not back on pop or junk food, but still, many carbs have been ingested.

Thankfully, Mark and I are going to get back on our regular type of diet upon returning home.

I know I'm retaining lots of water; I feel like a balloon. I'll wait a couple of days before weighing. I hope the damage isn't too great!

Well, here I am

Hanging out alone at the Laser Spine Institute. For some reason that escapes me, when I finished nearly everything @1:00, they "changed" my MRI appt. to be at 2:30. Anna and Mark are somewhere, and didn't answer either the cell or the hotel extension.

So, here I wait, alone and lonely. There was salad and water. I chose sandwich, brownie, and lemonade.

:( I'm wishing I had a cell phone (we just have one), or even my phone card, so I could call a friend. No luck.

Guess I'll go try and find a comfortable place and break open my book. Self pity isn't attractive, I know, but here I am. I'm feeling kind of scared, my back really hurts, and I'm lonely. We had no idea there'd be big gaps between things, or they'd not have left. Heck, I wanted them to leave, because I thought it'd be better for them, especially Anna, to go have some fun.

Foiled!

Well, the plane ride is painful. Yep. And it made me want to eat. Yeah, I was kinda hungry, but we did have cheese sticks and fruit along. Even so, feeling stressed, and a bit out of my element, and hurting, that cheeseburger and coke they advertised sounded good.

So I waffled and pondered. Decided not to. Then thought maybe I was being ridiculous as where I was and what I was doing and what I was on my way to do were hardly normal circumstances. So, I decided to go for it.

Then they announced they were out of them.

Sometimes the universe has a good sense of humor.

Oh, come on now!

4 pounds in 4 days. Give me a break! Mark says to relax, it's just water, etc. But that is easy for him to say!

Cripes.

So I went to the Fair

And shared an Elephant Ear with the fam.

So there.

Bye Bye, Decade of Z

So fleeting...sigh. All that work for two steak days! Argh! Two pounds in a day. Realistically, I refuse to believe two cookies and a little popcorn would cause a two pound jump. Lame, though.

I think I may not weigh until after Arizona from this point on. Today and tomorrow is the Fair, and I shall be consuming one meal per day there (the rest totally on program). Then...the trip.

I'm scared. Once again I find myself in the pre-surgery place of wishing this cup could be passed from me.

69!

The year I was born, and now the amount of weight in pounds I have lost. And yet...and yet...still heavy.

SIGH.

Well, that's neither here nor there. I'm hoping I don't put it all back on in the next few days. I've been invited out to lunch today. I'm surprising Anna tonight by taking her to see Despicable Me at the drive in, then it's two days of the Fair, then...Arizonuh.

I will be reasonable, but not monastic, methinks.

Ok, One Thing Sucked

Helping Anna make both shortbread and brownies on a foodless day. Ugh!

Decade of Z!

Oh, I wish that meant I was done! You see, the whole Decade of X, Y, and Z wasn't planned out. I arbitrarily gave the letter X to the number I would plateau (repeatedly). So then when I got into the "decade" it became Decade of X. Then the decade below became Y and so forth.

So I did a little jig when I slide into Decade of Z. Tomorrow I should be firmly entrenched into it after suffering through another steak day today.

Then again, I almost made it a misteak day. Anna was chomping down on some grape tomatoes, and I absentmindedly took a grab toward the tomatoes. Stopped just in time.

So after Decade of Z, I guess I'll have to come up with more stupid things to call stuff. :)

Yeah, baby!

Steak day=successful. I'm to the lowest I've been in close to 20 years. Woo hoo! Between my "special time" ending and the steak day, I'm back in the saddle again. I'm half a pound above the next decade. Sweet!

In fact, I'm going to do it again tomorrow. I want extra credit for the travel and surgery. I hope it doesn't destabilize things, but I'm going for it anyhow. The doctor told me if one needed to do two steak days, they could, with a day's break. That's today.

While I'm grateful my hormonal shift has gotten me out of the deep, dark forest in time for my surgery, I do wish it had of happened before VBS. As hard as I try to mind-over-matter it, I DO suffer terribly with hormonal stuff. I had so hoped being sugar free would cure it. It hasn't.

When the big shift happens, I feel like I walked out of a dark room into a light one. Last week was rough. It's stressful for me anyway. The physical pain of being on my feet for days is brutal. Then add the hormonal stuff, and it's just not good! Physically, emotionally, I'm in a quagmire. I don't think my competence suffers, but I'd sure like to feel happy.

Guess I'd better put it on the list for things to deal with with my doctor (naturopath, of course) after my back gets sorted out. Sadly, even with the back and weight being worked on, my health problems make a very long list.

Starving!

Steak days are only fun for the 15 minutes one is eating the steak.

Steak Day...?

Scale was down .6 today. Yay! That is a relief. I'm still a pound+ over my LIW, and I'd like to be below that, so I'm attempting a steak day. I have a lot of running around to do and I'm still...hormonally compromised and weary from the last week. So we'll see. I may need to abort the mission, but I'm giving it the old college try.

One Ounce

...from being out of the zone (on the bad end). Sigh. There still could be water issues as my hormonal tsunami is still pummeling my body. I'm planning a steak day tomorrow. Hope it's not ill advised with my current physical status. But I think that's the only day I can do it before leaving in a week.

Last Maintenance I had more time to prepare food. This time I've been eating on program, but a lot of the same stuff. Could it have something to do with it? Or is it just the continuing problems with this cycle?

And I'm worried about Arizona food/weight gain.

Balance=very twicky.

Scale Up (Frown Down)

Still in the zone, but barely. I'm still pretty sure it's cycle related. But I can't be positive. I have had a carb meal every other day since maintenance started. I can't do a steak day 'till Monday. By then I guess I'll know if it's water or fat.

Feeling stressed and lonely with the weight of VBS and surgery on my shoulders. I know food won't help. Not really.

But I sure would like to strap on the feed bag and give it a try!

Lunch Out!

Today we had to make a trip to Silverdale to get Costco VBS food. That was accomplished, and we made it home with 15 minutes for poor Mark to get his work clothes on and leave (groan).

While down there, we went to Taco del Mark and Coldstone. I had the free birthday item coupon. Both were really, really good. I ate less than I used to at both, which I think is a good sign.

This morning the scale was in the zone. I'm at a water-retention point in my hormonal reign-of-terror cycle. I wish my body would get on with things 'cause this is a really bad time to have PMS.

VBS is bearing down hard as is my surgery. And I had to see my sister today. Anna was happy to see her cousin. My sister was...pleasant. Apathy is a precicion tool she weilds with grace and style. Heck, I'd almost wish she was hostile to me; at least I could believe she cared.

A Nice Surprise

Today the soup at the church potluck was a proteinious delight. Usually it's noodles with a side of noodles. Today was bean and sausage. Yay!