Day 16: Split the difference

.6.  Just .2 more, but that would add up over the next month.  Today's experiment is having one beef meal and one dolphin butt meal.  Yesterday's special of the day was: Dolphin Butt Mexicali. 

Nearly to 16# gone.  Too bad it's the same pounds I've been losing every year.  At least it's nice to be going in the right direction again.

This morning when I pulled the shade and gazed out at the rain and mud I felt optimistic thinking about late spring and summer.  I adore having windows open and wearing shorts.  And by then, I'll be up from the depths of the deep dive and working on healthy eating and healing (no surgery on the docket!) and having a fun summer.  Woot!

Day 15: GRRRR

.4 again.  Darn it!  So, it's back to dolphin butt for the day to see if the larger loss was a fluke.  While I stayed carefully within the calories yesterday, I had the beef and chicken as protein.  Much tastier for me.

Sigh.

Can nothing (except getting fatter) be simple?

Day 14: two weeks

The dolphin butt experiment worked!  Down 1.6.  Couldn't believe it!  So I'm back to my science experiment today, making sure my 500 calorie limit is not exceeded, but eating better tasting protein.

We shall see.

Day 13: epilogue

Had two servings of dolphin butt today.  Hope it pays off.  Two weeks in and I'm so sick of the diet.  But, then I saw a picture of myself from over the holidays and that spurred me on.

Being fat sucks.

Day 13: meh

.4.  So not cool.  It's "supposed" to be more than that.  So today I'm trying two servings of dolphin butt (as much as it will gag me) because the white fish has the lowest fat count of the allowable meats.

I don't have to like it, though.

Day 12: live action blogging

Well, I'm up.  I just spent the last 10 minutes letting pets in and out.  For snicks, I thought I'd do a live action blog for you this morning.  I haven't gone and weighed yet.

I'll go do that...now.

Wait here.

.6.

Meh.

12 pounds total, though.  I'll take it.

Day 12: slow

Is it always this long?  If you know me and have followed my hcg journey before, remind me.  Email me anyway; there's been a disturbing lack of email from my friends this round!  Seems like this time it's taking forever; long, tedious, difficult days.  It feels like I'll never get there and when I look at my Buddha belly, I'm not impressed.

Ok, yeah.  I seemed to have lost about eight pounds of water out of my face, and the clothes that were just thismuch too snug feel great now.  But even so, this is HARD.  I know I'll be happy when I crawl over the finish line (est.) March 5, but right now: not.

Day 11: .2

Really, body?  Are you sure?  Yesterday was rough, too.  I felt weak and starving for a lot of the day.  So today being such a ridiculous showing is discouraging and no mistake.

Stupid HCG diet.  If I didn't have such a lousy back that doesn't tolerate a lot of extra weight well I'd just accept my horrible metabolism and embrace my heaviness.

So, right now I'm kicking a metaphoric rock and bitterly saying, "This sucks!"

Day 10: rolling, rolling, rolling....

11# so far.  Woot!  Yeah, that includes the big water loss at first, but hey, I'll take it!

Day 9: So very hungry

Injection 10 today--1/4 done!  Lost 1.4 over the past two days.  At least it started again!

I think about food all the time.  I'm like my Labradors!

Day 8: It was bound to happen

No weight loss today.  No gain, either.  This has happened before at the end of the first week.  While I was mildly disappointed, I'm trying to focus on the overall weight lost this time, 'cause when the scale doesn't play nice, if I let it, it can start my day off poorly.  Overall, down 9# and that's pretty awesome.

Shot #9, so I'm almost 1/4 done!  Already, right (Heh.  Each day is like 7 in hunger years.)? 

I'm changing my temporary HCG log title to 40 Days and 40 Nights, 'cause that's what I have left, and I'm so amused by Mark pointing that out. 

40 days 'til food.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Day 7: One week

I survived!  Hard to imagine, but true.  The grand tally?  9#!  Most of it is water, of course, and it's been rough.  But I am happy to see it.  Fell down into the next decade of weight.  Nice to see a lower number, and my clothes are feeling a little better again.  My hunger is worse again today, but I will soldier on. 

8 shots, 32 to go.  Ugh.  One day per week one must take off to prevent or slow down immunity.  So it's longer than 40 days by about a week.  Mark was snickering, when I mentioned it's 40 shots, about being tempted for 40 days and 40 nights.  I can appreciate that!  Too bad it's more like 49 days.  Feels like 149.

Day 6: Epilogue

Doing better with both hunger and fatigue.  Still not there yet, but definitely improving.  It's possible it's because I slept weird, and now it feels like my arm needs amputation, that maybe my body's preoccupied?  But let's just hope the corner is turned.

Day 5: Are we done yet?

Less weight off today.  That's not a surprise, as a large weight loss can't continue indefinitely!  Wish it could.  With the amount of suffering involved, I'd think it should!  My face is way thinner; I'll take that for starters.
One doctor I trusted told me a year or so ago I had "slow fluid metabolism."  I think that means I retain a lot of water.  I believe it.  All in my face.  I can only blame my round Scandinavian face so far.

Still hungry and fatigued.  I'm trying a small trip out today with my family.  Anna has a group violin lesson, so I'll ride along and see how I tolerate it.  I get very annoyed when I try and do something small, like tidy a room or do the dishes and I feel like collapsing in a heap.  Lame.

That had better change and I mean stat.  My doctor isn't much help with that kind of stuff.  I don't even ask her anymore because all she'll do is try and sell me nine million dollars worth of supplements that won't make me feel better and will probably make me feel worse.  The former HCG doc did a much better job with juggling foods, etc, to help with the symptoms.  But, being he retired, and this is my sixth cycle, I can pretty much manage this myself.  I don't remember being THIS fatigued, though.  Ugh.

Oh, the cake story.  Mark and Anna had cake the other day.  My idea, not theirs.  We tend to eat less strictly on Friday nights, and I'm not up to making a quality dessert yet, so I suggested he bring something from the store.  It wasn't as bad as some things because it didn't have a scent.  Food cooking smells are tough.

I'm attempting to live my life as normally as possible, but it's hard.  I'm starving and I'm super weak.  Mark got caught up on my blog updates this morning and when I woke up he said he wanted me to quit.  I think he was being somewhat facetious, but my answer was, "You haven't noticed?" (how hard it is).  :/  Onward and upward.  Six shots down, only 33 to go.

Day 6: Potassium!

I read something in a HCG book a friend gave me awhile back: my weakness and dizziness is probably caused by the loss of potassium in dumping so much water so fast.  Finally, something that makes sense!  Not that it helps me right now, as I don't have any potassium supplements and I'm loathe to buy a whole bottle when I'll probably feel better on my own soon... But if I don't, next time I'm in town (Tuesday), I'll pick some up.

So, almost a week.  I think my energy level is sliding up a wee bit every day.  It's still too low, even for me, but at least it's not getting worse, yes?  My trip out yesterday was extremely fatiguing, and I didn't even have to drive!  But, as I said, I'm not needed for mommy chauffeur duty until Tuesday, so maybe by then...?

My husband picked up some more of my favorite HCG Diet foods at the store last night, so that does help a little.  If I can avoid the 3 ounces of dolphin butt, that's all good. 

Day 4: Oy

So hungry.  Shrink, stomach, shrink!

Down 6.4# so far.  Surely it's mostly if not all water.  But even so, that's cool.  I made it 'til regular bedtime last night, so I guess that's indicative of some energy coming back.  I do feel like I'm getting over a nasty virus, though, still weak and fatigued.  And headachy.

Gotta go start school.  Tell ya about the cake later.

Day 3: epilogue

I know I'll live through this; I have before.  One thing I also know: this quick weight loss that mitigates the misery won't continue.  It's always followed a set pattern: lose a bunch then hit a wall.  Hate the wall.  Each day feels lke a thousand years of food-deprived torture, so when one hits a day (or more) where you lose nothing (or even gain--gasp), it's tough to take.  But, we're not there yet.

So Costco fish is way better than Safeway fish.  In the past, I've gotten bags of frozen Costco tilapia.  Yum!  I got one on sale of frozen Safeway tilapia.  Yuck!  It tastes...gamey.  No, that's not right.  It tastes...fishy.  But like gross fish.  More like dolphin butt.  Yucky tasting food doesn't help.

Tomorrow I'm pulling out my old standby: mockos.  Mark and Anna are having tacos, normal ones.  I'm having some 96% lean beef cooked in water and nestled in lettuce leaves: hence, mock tacos.  Mockos!

I still feel a bit weak, but it's better than it was.  The feeling of having a fever went away.  Now I feel like I'm getting over one!  This too shall pass.

Day 3: Medical weight loss is not for whimps

You mean there's people who can watch what they eat, exercise, and...lose weight?  I wish I were one of them!  This diet is not for those who can.  Trust.  Me.

This morning I felt like I had a fever.  I was weak, dizzy, and like I was made of over-cooked spaghetti.  Not fun.  I do feel a little better now.

And I have lost weight.  I don't feel particularly gleeful over it because at this point in any weight loss, it's just water.  But, if you want to know, 4.5#.

Day 2: Better in the afternoon

Yep, doing some better.  I have a little more energy (a very little more), and I doubt anyone will suggest I be tested for rabies today.

I'm still quite lethargic and hungry, and still have a bit of a headache.  But overall, I'd say there's improvement.  I didn't fall asleep during school, which is a plus!

Food smells drive me insane, however.  That's not fun.  I hate being hungry.  :(

Day 2: The Pain

Wow, does this suck!  I need to go back and read the beginnings of the other cycles.  Save the first one, I don't remember this level of misery!  But, to be honest, I have been strapping on the feed bag for some time now.

After years of monastic discipline being rewarded with totally inexplicable and unfair weight gain, I guess I got tired of it.  And when I gained my typical 20 pounds in two months after my surgery followed immediately by the holidays, in a way, I sort of said, "Screw it."  I LIKED eating what I wanted!  It was nice.

But, that's over now and here we are again.  And it sucks.  Yesterday was awful.  It didn't start out too bad.  Sure, I felt hungry, but not all that bad.  Then, around 10:00, the bad started.  I suddenly felt weak and dizzy, so I ate my breakfast apple.

Then, the hunger really didn't stop all that much, nor did the weakness.  Then the headache started, followed by the crappy mood.  I should have been locked in my kennel for snarling.  I even fell asleep on the couch during the middle of school.  After we got home from dance, I couldn't stay awake.  I finally got into bed at 8 and that was it.  I slept until 5:30.

This morning, so far, I'm marginally better.  I'm treating this transitional period as being sick, 'cause baby, I'm not well!  I know this will pass.  But right now, time moves all too slowly. 

Today should be better, we have less to do today, which is a very good thing.

I hate the first day

You can remember something in your head, but it still ends up being worse than you thought it would be.  I feel awful.  The first couple of days are the worst: all pain, no payoff.

Day 1: The worst day

The first few days SUCK.  You're starving, you feel weird, and instead of losing weight, you start out fatter because of the forced feeding of loading days.

My goal is to try and have as normal routine as possible.  Sounds good right now, but it's only 6:30 a.m. of day 1.

It's a long road, people, let's get to it.

At the edge, ready to jump

Boy, these loading days have gone by all too soon.  Tomorrow I start the starving.  Not fun!  I'm trying to remind myself eating isn't the most important thing in my life, and I can sure do most of everything I do anyway.  But even so, it's not an easy process, both physically and mentally.

But, I'm waddling.  In six weeks, I won't be.  Eyes on the prize.

Loading day 2

Well, loading day 1 wasn't what we'd hoped.  I felt sick most of the day, which is a buzz kill for eating.  I don't know if it was just the shot, or what I ate (I was sooo careful!), or what.  But, strapping on the feed bag wasn't really happening.

Today is my second and final loading day.  Then it's all pain, all the time.  But, being right now I feel like fat Puss in Boots (Shrek 4), I need to do this.

Wish me luck today!  I have a long one and loading will be difficult--especially if I continue to feel nauseated.

Loading Day 1

Well, it's here!  This morning, I got on the scale.  That wasn't fun.  But at least I've faced it and it's over.  I measured yesterday.  Likewise, not fun.  What will be fun is eating during the next two days.  I'm taking the sum total of my knowledge of doing this diet five times before, and applying it to this time.

One thing is not to make the mistake of loading on sweet fat.  It needs to be savory fat.  The sweet fat way just made me sick and raised my blood sugar, making the adjustment to the diet itself harder.  Carb crashes are horrid.

So, the first two days are to get a lot of fat circulating in your blood to make the transition easier.  It also makes you gain weight which certainly feels counter productive.  But, going with the savory/good fat method helps that, too.

I'll have more to say later.  It's early yet and my brain is not quite firing on all eight.

Tomorrow...is only a day away

First shot tomorrow!  I'm both excited and scared.  It's miserable, fella.  Anybody who says the HCG diet isn't hellish is LYING.  Or, they're cheating on it.

Even so, I do take comfort into knowing I'll be smaller in a week.  That's something.

More fun

Ok, so nearly 12 years ago, when I had Anna, they discovered I had endometriosis.  At the time, I thought, "So?  Get in line."  I had so many other health problems, I never thought this would actually...matter.  Well, its number has come up.

I've been having pain for awhile.  Feels like sharp stomach pains.  A lot.  I thought it was just another weird me thing that would go away.  Eventually I had it checked out (that was fun) and they said they had to do more checking.  So that's on deck for Monday.  I can...hardly wait.

Of course I was worried it'd mess up the hcg, so I'm pushing that back a day, so it won't.  I just hope they don't have to DO anything else after this.  Hey yeah.  Maybe it'll just go away!  Am I right?

HCG countdown

One week 'til I start The Diet (from hell).  This pending weekend I do the two days of loading.  That's the best part, but it's also tough because you eat like a stevedore for two days, then starve.  Ugh.  I take comfort in the fact I'll be going on Stabilization next month.  Yeah, the last day of the month, but still.  It's a mental thing for me.

Happy New Year!