...and I can't find either. They never write, they never call...
Yeah, I'm struggling. I'm having a hard time keeping it all going. We've passed the month mark for my voice being gone. Nobody's ever heard of that. I get a lot of, "You STILL don't have a voice?!?!" with an accusatory expression conveying either they think I'm making it up or doing something to cause it.
I'm trying to get ready for this surgery trip! It's hard enough to manage life with a disability when one CAN talk. And add to that the fact that my last hcg cycle was a bust. The final insult with that is even when I eat "perfectly," the weight creeps back on. Now that I'm not being perfect (fairly good, I'd say), it's coming on quickly. I'm too scared to weigh, but I can tell. My pants aren't as loose and my face looks like a beachball.
It's weird because usually for me discipline tends to be an all or nothing kind of proposition. But in nearly every area, despite my obstacles, I'm keeping it between the lines. But there's one area where the cracks are showing: my diet and fitness.
I know it's dumb because I should be doing everything I can to gain as little as possible before the surgery, but I can't seem to get it back together. I've been slacking on my exercising, too. The mermaid and I haven't been able to coordinate for swimming, and the walking hasn't been happening, either. I've also been half-assing my personal workout routine.
I want to do better, but I can't seem to find my way back to the path. Lost again.
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