Well, it's almost here

My day is running down. I baked today...twice. That was hard. The bread machine Irish Soda Bread smelled heavenly (email me if you want the recipe--it's heavenly *and* easy), but the Brown Sugar Banana Cream Muffins were harder to take.

I'm still starving. But Anna's in bed, my chores are done, and it's time for me to make yet another cup of herbal tea and watch the rest of a movie it's taken me three days to get through (it's a good movie, I just peter out early).

I'm beginning to focus more on this summer and what I need to do next. There's much traveling and planning to happen between now and my surgery. I've been working on it (it helps me cope with my health situation). The thought of again losing all the ground I crawl slowly and painfully back to reclaim is hard to take. It takes me a good six months. And that's if I've gone a long time between surgeries. This time it'll be a year, and I'm having two. Scary thought. So, I plan. The better executed the travel and life plans, the more I can grasp the illusion of control.

But I need to try again. My family would benefit from me having a better back. And my dad isn't getting any younger. There was so much I could not do to help my mom in her last years. That still bothers me. The drive was too far for me to go myself, and it was only the grace of God and a friend of ours who came at a moment's notice and drove me to my mom's that I was with her in her last moments. I want to be able to take great care of my dad (not that he's ill now). And I want to be able to do more things with and for Mark and Anna. So I'll try again. But an even dozen surgeries? Yeah. Words fail.

Ok, enough of that. Food in the morning and that's a *happy thing*!! Next time we talk, I'll have eaten real food and lotioned my poor, cracked face, hands, and feet). Bliss!