This diet session hasn't gone as I'd hoped. Rather glad I have but eight more injections (11 more days of diet) before stabilization. With the results being so ho-hummy, I wish now I'd just continued as I was, happily losing about a pound per week while able to have carbs a couple of times per week. But, who knew?
Yesterday was Anna's recital day (day one of two). It's a long and tiring day, but nice. It's another foodcentric event I've had to plow through. It's funny how many events are tied to food for me. The day is fatiguing and that makes me all the more hungry. But, I did get through. Rather not looking forward to today. I'm twice as sore and feel twice as hungry!
I realized with horror late last night I had eaten up my asparagus, beef, strawberries, and tomatoes. That is not good for even coming remotely close to getting enough calories in today. Oy. I was so busy getting stuff ready for Anna, I forgot about that part. I'm sure I'll work it out one way or the other.
Today marks the one year anniversary of my mom's death. That sucks. I miss her every day. Yesterday, out of habit, I grabbed for my cell phone, instinctively starting to do what I'd done every year, which is call her during one of the long stretches of time we parents inevitably have during recital weekend.
I'd say the whole day was emotional given both the pending anniversary, and the fact this year Anna has started to separate herself more from us, preferring to hang out with her dancer friends. She didn't do anything wrong. She was just having fun. A number of moms and I commiserated as we're all going through the same thing this weekend. The other years our little ballerinas were never far from pulling on our pant legs. This year...not. They're a nice group of girls, for sure. But I'm just not ready to be surplussed just yet! I asked Mark if maybe we want to reconsider the whole "no more babies" thing. But I guess we'll cross that bridge after my surgery. And it'd happen anyway, even if we stretched it out with another child. It happens to us all.
When I'm healthier, though, I'm going to be more involved with the running of the show. I want to be there even if on the surface I'm no longer needed to be there.
So, the day was emotional. I was hungry, I missed my mom, and I felt like my mommy skills were superfluous. But, also, there was something else. We had beloved friends come to cheer Anna on, which means so much to me. So while my tummy was empty, my heart was full.
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