Day 3: Some Improvement

I feel somewhat better today. The hcg headache is going away, and I'm not quite as ravenlously hungry. And the loading weight is gone (phew!). I'm now five pounds above the top of the zone. In a week, if all goes well, I'll be back in the zone (now the previous zone), and in two weeks I should be below my bottom weight (the day I dipped into decade of z) and hell bent for leather.

I have some small goals I'm working toward. Getting back to, then below where I was right before surgery. Then about 20 pounds below that is my next big goal. That's reasonable (Lord willin' and the scale don't rise)for this cycle.

Then I hope to maintain through Christmas and January. Then attack it again in Feb-April (long cycles take a long time!).

I'm truly hoping the more weight I lose, even though it's too d**ned hard to be fair, the easier it will be to maintain. Fat makes estrogen. Being a PCOS gal, my hormones are a kaleidoscope of horrors. One would think the less fat, the less impact it'd have on the crucial estrogen-progesterone balalance. Or whatever. :}

After I'm done with the hcg horror show, I can put more attention to my thyroid irregularities. If I'm no longer pumping out estrogen like an oil derrek, and my thyroid problem gets resolved, maybe I can maintain my weight like a normal person.

That's a big issue for me: wanting to be a normal person. I want to have a normal weight. I want to be able to eat carbohydrates. I want to be able to choose my family size. I want to be able to sit.

But I can't do any of it. I don't like feeling like a freak.