Day 12

Down .6. It's not the glamorous results popularized, but I can live with it, if it keeps up. I'm 1.4 above Decade of Z. Again.

I had a pleasant surprise this morning. I haven't checked my blood sugar in a long while. It's always above 100. Until today. I checked it, and the meter read 86. I asked it, "Are you sure?" (I know, not a good sign to be anthropomorphizing medical equipment...) I then changed the test materials and tested again on my other hand: 84.

Sweet.

I realized why I'm so angry about being hungry all the time. Firstly, because it's "not supposed to be this way." That's a recurring theme for me medically. And in other arenas as well. I can't seem to grow up and accept life is neither equal nor fair.

But the biggest reason (I think) is my chronic pain. There's little I can do to alleviate my chronic pain, despite trying all the time. And being hungry (which is not pleasant) is something I *can* do something about. So when I can't, it just adds another unpleasant layer to my body, and it makes me mad.

There you have it. Dr. Phil has nothing on my brilliant insight.