I've been here before: losing weight, feeling happy about it, convinced "this time is different," that it won't come back. It's happened a few times since Anna was born. Each time it's come back, and I've gained more weight on top of that, it's gotten harder. The last time was the worst.
I was so convinced getting my stomach repaired would solve everything! I had myself convinced the biggest reason my body would freak out and gain, gain, gain was because I wasn't able to digest food. Then when I lost weight after my surgery, getting down to X, I thought I had cracked the code!
And then...it happened. Even though I was eating healthy and reasonable meals...it came back. Again. My body had betrayed me...again. Most people (like my dad) don't believe that the weight would come back without my helping it along with a case of donuts or something.
Sure, eventually, after many pounds came back, I'd relax my healthy eating to an extent. I'd figure why would I totally abstain from foods I really liked when I was gaining anyway?! It's so unfair. It is. It really is.
But, it is what it is. Yes, I'm hoping with every bit of my being this time WILL be different. That this weight loss plan, with its promises of "resetting your metabolism" will actually work. But if it doesn't, I also hope with every bit of my being to accept and live the rest of my life without sugar, if that's what it takes.
I've learned so much about obesity and its dysfunctional origins by reading Dr. Simeons' work (hcg guy). He's made me feel a lot less bad about myself and weight. Let's just hope that I don't follow my typical course of being the exception to the rule.
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