But it's not my fault! I think God heard me tell Mark that a big priority for me this hcg cycle was to avoid stress. Then immediately a dear friend got sicker and so did my dog.
Today...sucked. Ok, hang on for a little backstory. A friend's wife has been ill for awhile, with a weird autoimmune disorder. They have a young teenaged daughter. A few days ago, I sent this friend an email about something trivial, and he happened to be sitting at the hospital with his wife, who had gotten worse again. She's been in and out of the hospital a lot.
Anyway, I told him, if she wasn't feeling well enough by this weekend, I'd be happy to call his clients and tell them he'd be out of the office.
Nobody expected her to die.
It's a horrible tragedy. She was all of 52 or 53 years old. I feel just sick for them. I wasn't close to her, but I knew her, and I liked her. We were both singers who had trouble with our voices due to health issues, and we'd emailed recently about that. Being a veteran of chronic pain and illness, I tried to be a support.
So, yeah. While I know this isn't about me, it was an ordeal for me to call 15 people and tell them about her death. "Hi, this is Sandra calling from XXXXXX's office. I'm afraid he needs to cancel your appointment for this week." "Why...Did something bad happen?" "Yes, I'm afraid his wife passed away." And then the screaming and crying would start. We live in a small town. It seems everybody knows everybody.
I felt bad when I had to leave a voice mail. I did it as tactfully as I could, but talking to a dozen people who are friends of theirs was awful. They needed consoling and counsel. I did my best, but it took its toll. A few of them would catch themselves and realize this must be hard for me to make these calls (hell, yes).
So I'm feeling pretty badly tonight. Drained is an understatement. I dropped Anna off at Youth Group. I wanted to throw myself on my friends' couch and cry, but I didn't say anything. I just left and went to Safeway. Bought cake for my family.
A horrible tragedy like this makes one realize how precious life is and how important it is to make the most of every day. We need to make time for those we love. Nobody knows when it'll be too late to show you care.
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