Today marks three weeks since my surgery. It feels like time is speeding up now, hurtling toward school starting in just under two weeks.
I woke up today in more pain than usual, and in different places; it's very odd, and unwelcome. I had a great physical therapy appointment yesterday, and the nerve issues felt improved. But today? I don't get it. It's rather discouraging.
So many people are telling me how great I'm doing and how great I look. The latter feels like a patent lie to me as I have gained weight since the surgery and my face is red and blotchy. I told my dad yesterday, while I know it's only been three weeks, it feels longer. I want credit for time served! This is my 12th major surgery, and if you count minor surgeries and "procedures"...well, I don't even want to count that high. That would take a vague feeling of discouragement and martyrdom and turn it into something worse.
I've got to get my act together with my diet and no joke. That concerns me a lot. I frankly have no motivation right now. Everything is so difficult already and when I'm scarb (simple carb) free, it takes a heck of a lot of work. And right now, I just don't have the energy or physical ability to do it.
So, ok, I guess I'm a whiner today. Sorry. Sometimes I feel down. I notice after every surgery more swings than is normal for me in general. The whole system gets shaken up like a snow globe. I'm trying to be a patient patient, I really am. But it's difficult sometimes. Hearing from friends cheers me up. So does reading and unfortunately, so does eating chocolate
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