Just a few days until I'm back on the horse. Golly, I hope this time works (stabilizes, at least!). The starvation, the bruising and bleeding from the shots...that I can live with. Gaining it back (with malice), that, not so much.
Well, I remember now why I can never seem to find out what's wrong with me: the brick walls I collide with. Seems we're there again, and it sucks. More money, time, and misery spent trying to get to the root cause of my health issues to no avail.
I just saw a recent picture of myself and groaned. The pictures taken just a few months ago on South Padre Island--pretty good! Now--oh, hello big butt--how nice to see you again (not).
So what to do now? Try again, I suppose--at least to get some of the weight off. But it won't be down to where it was last May. And that makes me sad. Is it out of the realm of possibility for me to get healthy? Really? Do I have to accept I have "atypical" fibromyalgia and polycystic ovaries and leave it at that? It just doesn't feel right. It doesn't pass my gut check.
But what else can I do? I just don't know.
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