Day 4: I Hurt

...but I know why. Part of the HCG protocol is an avoidance of over-the-counter analgesics and anti-inflammatories, of which I partake daily. Or did. I realized today why my joints (all of them) and knees...and shoulders...and back (more than normal) hurt so much: the levels of anti-inflammatory in my system have crashed. Thus, I hurt. But I will power through--mostly because I've lost EIGHT POUNDS this week (yes, including the 3 I gained on the loading days). So, my grand total is 15 pounds.

In other news, my headache is now gone. Thank the good Lord in heaven. My hunger is better, too. Not gone, but better. The scent of food drives me mad. Today Mark made Anna and himself scrambled eggs with cheese and ham. Torture. Last night, watching them eat chow mein, General Tso's Chicken, and chocolate cake...the sixth level of hell.

Yesterday afternoon I had a frustrating conversation with my dad. He is utterly incapable of either believing or accepting that there's something wrong with my metabolism. It's easier in his world to believe I must be a closet eater, which I am not. I tried, for the 85,396th time, to explain to him how it works for me, every time: I follow a strict diet avoiding sugar, rice, bread, potatoes, and pasta. I have slow improvement, eventually plateauing at a stupidly high number. Then, the weight comes back, even when I'm still following the very healthy, endocrinologist-sponsored diet. This has happened enough times to make a Marine cry. His response, "So you never eat a burger?" My reply, "Yes. But once a week is not enough to make one obese." I left it at that because a) it was Anna's birthday and b) he was giving us a ride to her dance class as my minivan is still broken. He just doesn't get it. He'll never learn. And apparently, I have the same affliction as I keep trying to make him understand.

His lack of understanding and compassion makes me miss my mother all the more.